Two Weeks, One Important Lesson

Well, an

other fasting season has come and gone! This time, it was the Dormition Fast, and although it lasted only two weeks, it brought some unexpected challenges for our family.

After making it through Great Lent and the Apostles' Fast, I thought we were beginning to get the hang of things. Well, one way or another! Our regular Wednesday and Friday fasts had become part of our weekly routine, and while meal planning still required some extra thought, fasting itself wasn't something I particularly struggled with anymore.

But for the kids, this fast was a different story.

Despite being much shorter than the previous two fasting seasons, they seemed to have a harder time with this one. They were becoming frustrated with the food restrictions, particularly when it came to snacks and eating out. There were days when they wanted something familiar, only to discover that it wasn't permitted on the fasting calendar. Even something as simple as going out to eat on the weekend required us to be selective about where we went and what we ordered.

And then there were those unexpected ingredients! You'd be surprised how often milk manages to sneak into foods you wouldn't necessarily expect it to be in.

Unlike our regular meals, which I could plan ahead of time, snacks were a little more complicated. The kids are growing, and sometimes they just want something quick to eat between meals. Of course, I could plan those out too, but with their limited selection of favorite fasting-friendly snacks, it wasn't always easy.

Eventually, I began noticing that their frustration was turning into something more. They weren't simply tired of the food restrictions. They were starting to dislike fasting altogether, and they were having trouble understanding why we were doing it in the first place. And this was despite my attempts to explain its purpose, including keeping a little reminder right alongside our printed menu on the fridge!

And that concerned me. The last thing I wanted was for the children to develop an aversion to the practices of the Church simply because they found them difficult. I wanted them to understand the purpose of fasting and, eventually, appreciate why the Church encourages us to practice it.

As it happened, we had a meeting with our priest the day after the Dormition Fast ended. We brought up our concerns and asked whether it might be better to simplify fasting for the children, perhaps allowing an oikonomia on weekends, similar to what we had been given during our first Great Lent.

I won't go into the details of our conversation, since spiritual guidance is personal and what one priest recommends for a particular family may be different from what another family needs. But there were a few things from our discussion that I thought were worth reflecting on.

One of them was obedience.

Our priest explained to the children that following the Church's fasting practices is an act of obedience. It's not simply about avoiding certain foods, but about learning to willingly follow the guidance of the Church.

He also reminded us that fasting isn't something we're forced to do. It's a practice given to us for our spiritual benefit. As the children are getting older, they're also beginning to reach an age where they can think more seriously about their own participation in the life of the Church and what it means to choose obedience.

At the same time, we're learning that fasting doesn't mean becoming overly scrupulous about every little detail. There may be circumstances when a fast needs to be adjusted, whether because of illness or because we're sharing a meal with someone who isn't observing the fast. The point isn't to become so anxious about following every rule perfectly that we lose sight of why we're fasting in the first place.

And I think that's something important for all of us to remember, especially as we're still learning.

As for me, I can't say that the Dormition Fast itself was particularly difficult. My biggest struggle continues to be the meal planning! Figuring out what to cook, making sure everyone has enough to eat, and finding meals that work with the fasting calendar can become quite a task, especially when we're observing several extended fasts throughout the year.

It's also made me realize that I really need to start putting together a collection of reliable, fasting-friendly recipes. I'm thinking of organizing them by each of the four major fasting seasons rather than keeping everything in one big collection. That way, when a particular fast comes around, I won't have to sort through a bunch of recipes trying to figure out what to make.

I could even choose recipes that reflect the time of year, with lighter, fresher meals during the warmer months and heartier, comforting dishes during the colder ones. And since the fasts come around every year, we could simply rotate through those recipes again when the season returns. Of course, that doesn't mean we couldn't enjoy them at other times of the year, too!

Perhaps having a set of familiar meals and snacks ready to rotate through would make things easier for everyone. The kids would know what to expect, and I wouldn't have to spend quite so much time thinking about food. Which, ironically, is part of what fasting is supposed to help us do less of!

Looking back on these past few months, I'm beginning to see how each fasting season has taught us something different. Great Lent introduced us to extended fasting, the Apostles' Fast reminded me of the importance of simplicity, and now the Dormition Fast has brought our attention to obedience and understanding why we fast.

I don't expect the children to suddenly enjoy every fasting day simply because we've had this conversation. They're still learning, just as we are. But I hope that as we continue our journey into Orthodoxy, they'll gradually begin to understand that fasting isn't simply about what we can or cannot eat. It's about something much greater than that.

And perhaps that's the lesson we're all still learning: fasting isn't about following a perfect menu, but about growing in obedience, self-control, and love for God.