Forgiveness Sunday — Maybe Next Year?

One tradition I've found particularly interesting is Forgiveness Sunday, which takes place just before Great Lent begins. Unfortunately, we weren't able to attend the Forgiveness Vespers service this year, but it's something I've been thinking about ever since learning about it. I remember asking our priest why Orthodox Christians ask one another for forgiveness during this service. After all, what if you've only recently started attending a church and barely know anyone? Why would you ask forgiveness from someone you've hardly even met? His explanation was something I hadn't really considered before: our sins don't affect only ourselves. They affect the people around us, and in a sense, the whole world. That's why we ask forgiveness from one another, even when we may not have personally wronged someone in an obvious way.

That was something I'd never really thought about before! It's a beautiful thought, but I have to admit that the idea of actually participating makes me a little nervous! I've tried imagining myself standing there, asking forgiveness from everyone and having them ask forgiveness from me, especially knowing that prostrations are involved. I wonder what it would feel like to actually participate. Will we attend next year? I honestly don't know!

One thing I appreciate about the Orthodox Church is the understanding that families have jobs, responsibilities, and circumstances that sometimes prevent them from attending every service. We're not expected to neglect those responsibilities, and there's an understanding that we simply can't be everywhere. This is especially important when you consider that we live in a society where the calendar of holidays and time off doesn't always line up with the Orthodox Church's liturgical calendar. Most workplaces and schools in America organize their schedules around the Gregorian calendar and the dates traditionally observed by Western Christians.

For example, while many people around us may have time off for Western Easter, Orthodox Pascha can fall on an entirely different Sunday! And that doesn't even begin to account for all the additional services throughout Great Lent and Holy Week. So I appreciate that there's an understanding that attending every service isn't always possible, especially when you're balancing family life and other responsibilities.

Still, I can't even say I'm particularly looking forward to attending Forgiveness Vespers because, well, the thought is a little unnerving. But I can certainly see the benefit of it, and perhaps that's part of why it has stayed on my mind. In the meantime, I've been thinking about how we might incorporate something similar into our family life.

I remember hearing about parents making a habit of asking their children for forgiveness at the end of the day. Sometimes it's for something specific, like losing patience or speaking harshly. Other times, it's simply asking forgiveness for anything they may have done to hurt them, even unintentionally. Over time, the children begin to follow that example and ask forgiveness themselves. I really like that idea. It creates an environment where admitting you've done something wrong, apologizing, and seeking forgiveness aren't treated as shameful or negative things. Instead, they become a natural part of family life. I think that's especially important in a society where being wrong is so often viewed negatively. We sometimes become so afraid of making mistakes or admitting we're wrong that we forget how important it is to acknowledge our faults and seek forgiveness. And isn't that something we should all be learning?

I think this practice was recommended as something to begin during Lent, and perhaps that's where we'll start. But the more I think about it, the more I feel it could become a meaningful daily habit throughout the year. I think it could be especially beneficial in families with children who struggle with making mistakes or who sometimes see being wrong as something terrible. By making forgiveness a normal part of everyday life, perhaps we can help them understand that mistakes are opportunities to learn, grow, and make things right. I don't know exactly how we'll incorporate this into our evenings yet, but it's certainly something I'd like to try.