Between Conviction and Community: Our Search for a Church Home

In February of this year, our Presbyterian church closed. I didn’t realize then how much that single event would unsettle our lives. At the time, I assumed we would grieve briefly, find another church, and settle back into a familiar rhythm. That’s what I thought church transitions were supposed to look like. I mean, it worked many times before. Instead, here we are at the end of July, still searching.

We’ve visited several churches over the past few months, and none of them have felt like home. Some were welcoming. Some were kind. Some were close enough to what we believe that, on paper, they should have worked. But every Sunday we leave with the same quiet heaviness — the sense that something is missing.

We visited a Reformed Baptist church. Then a Lutheran church. We attended a non-denominational church because much of our family goes there. We even visited a church that calls itself Baptist, only to realize it leans far more Pentecostal in both teaching and worship style. Each visit adds to the confusion.

One of the hardest parts of this search has been realizing how difficult it is to find a truly conservative church anymore. Many churches, across many denominations, are moving toward contemporary worship and messaging. The services are polished. The music is emotionally charged. The sermons are often practical, motivational, and carefully worded to avoid discomfort. I understand why this appeals to people. But for us, it doesn’t feel grounding. It feels unsteady. What makes it even more discouraging is the realization that doctrine isn’t even consistent within denominations. One Presbyterian church teaches something completely different from another. One Baptist church feels indistinguishable from a charismatic service, while another emphasizes strict confessions. Lutheran churches, Reformed churches, non-denominational churches — all carry internal disagreements that leave me wondering where truth actually lands.

Some days it feels like it doesn’t matter where we go. If churches that share the same label can teach opposing things, how are ordinary families supposed to discern what is truly correct? How are parents supposed to lead their children faithfully when certainty feels so fragile? That question keeps me up at night.

I’m especially concerned about my children. They have now gone months without a stable church home. No consistent community. No regular rhythm of worship with the same people. And while I know faith is lived out at home as much as anywhere else, I also know children need roots. They need stability. They need to see that church is not optional or interchangeable. Right now, we’re seriously considering attending the non-denominational church again — not because it feels right, but because our family is there and because there is a large Slavic community that feels familiar and safe. There is something comforting about shared culture, shared language, shared food after services. But even as we consider it, there’s a deep reluctance in my heart.

Is it enough to attend a church simply because it’s available and familiar? Is stability more important than conviction? Or does settling now risk long-term confusion later?

I don’t have answers yet. Only the weight of knowing that this choice matters — not just for us, but for the spiritual formation of our children. I want them to grow up with consistency, with clear teaching, and with a sense that the Church is something solid, not something constantly shifting beneath their feet.

This season feels unresolved because it is unresolved.

We are still searching. Still visiting. Still praying. And still hoping that somewhere, there is a church that feels less like compromise and more like home.